my friend’s teacher kept saying ‘YOLO’ around the school and then people were like ‘why do u keep saying you only live once’ and he was like ‘oh is that what it means?? i thought it was a mix of ‘yo’ and hello’ and it was just a hip new greeting’
remember when ginny weasley turned down the offer of going to the dance with harry (the boy she’d been crushing on for years) so that she could stay loyal to her date with neville and then completely called ron and harry out on their shit when they started making fun of neville good times good times
I don’t understand how people can shower in like five minutes I mean I can go as fast as I can I still have to shampoo my hair and condition my hair and scrub myself and shave and cut myself shaving and use the blood in my summoning of the dark lord then travel to another dimension to ward off my enemies then come back and dry off how do you do that in five minutes
I’d like to cancel my subscription to Menstrual Cycle Monthly
I’m sorry, it appears you’ve taken out a fifty-sixty year subscription. However, we can pause it for nine months as long as you sign a contract that says you’ll take out a subscription to Baby Daily for at least eighteen years
Damn those Terms and Conditions.
i didn’t even read them i’ve made a terrible mistake
I wonder how many stranger’s stories we make it into? You know, maybe someone saw you in passing and told their friends about how pretty the girl in the lavender sweater was. Or maybe they overheard you say a joke and repeated it to their friend, confessing that they heard it from some guy at the store.
“I’m not going to be the girl you marry, but I’ll be the girl you’ll be thinking of 20 years from now while you engage in polite sex with your boring wife who fakes her orgasm to make you feel better about your receding hairline.”—e.b. (via pornstarwars)